Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

immunetoinsanity

Search for a member

immunetoinsanity

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 732
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About immunetoinsanity : I am addicted to FML.
I'm not nearly as attractive in real life.
That picture is just too spicy.
Maybe one day I will get posted.
What is "social life?"
Message me or I will cry, a lot.
But don't be offended if I don't answer.
One more thing, I love you.

immunetoinsanity's page activity

Visits<b>Dlzq</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:57pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 6:44pm<b>jellybeens</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 6:53pm<b>9ndfine</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 6:02pm<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 8:29am<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:27am<b>planb11733</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 1:00am<b>samaxe66</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 10:26pm<b>twitwi2000</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 10:25pm<b>jdawg1996</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 8:24pm<b>ian3866</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 7:16pm<b>XxFikzlovexX</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 6:14pm<b>johnfolk</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 5:31pm<b>vinniejoey</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 5:26pm<b>bellzaboo18</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 4:24pm<b>steelrain155mm</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 3:43pm<b>wakejhittle</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 3:04pm<b>Mathis92987</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 2:01pm

immunetoinsanity's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of immunetoinsanity's badges

immunetoinsanity's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

#21040159
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44667) - you deserved it (9239)

On 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by mom - United States (Texas)

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML

#21014440
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38325) - you deserved it (16945)

On 01/02/2014 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39138) - you deserved it (21749)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32612) - you deserved it (6342)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML

#20903036
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39166) - you deserved it (3638)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:34am - misc - by novapine (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a girl who's in charge of a group project that I get graded on, asked if Bill Gates was a Founding Father. She was totally serious. I'm screwed. FML

#20900504
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38268) - you deserved it (2470)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48824) - you deserved it (6384)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

#20896754
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37661) - you deserved it (3161)

On 09/26/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

#20896706
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42527) - you deserved it (5595)

On 09/26/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by horriblefashionsense (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38146) - you deserved it (3043)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

#20892563
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35004) - you deserved it (5451)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:48am - kids - by numbnuts (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

#20876882
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41701) - you deserved it (6519)

On 09/11/2013 at 10:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41732) - you deserved it (3668)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML

#20854260
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46069) - you deserved it (3002)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:28pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: