immja

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immja

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5118
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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immja's page activity

Visits<b>QueefBucket</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:19am<b>boobear19883</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:18am<b>TheListening</b> - the 03/29/2011 at 1:49am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 5:29am<b>chimshar</b> - the 07/24/2010 at 11:47pm

immja's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

immja's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML

by ahhhboys / 11/27/2010 at 2:12pm / Romania / Love

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to my Calculus lecture, one of a class of 200 people. As I looked down I noticed that a guy a few rows in front of me was on Facebook. When I took a closer look, I noticed he was viewing my profile. He stalked the profile for a full 45 minutes. I have never met this guy in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 5:00pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Love

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2010 at 3:01am / Mexico (Morelos) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML

by alltimelove / 11/18/2010 at 10:34am / Animals

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 2:01am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

by sly / 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 6:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

by jailbirdlove / 10/10/2010 at 9:38pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 1:15am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML

by Vinny1017 / 10/07/2010 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Love