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immja

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immja
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2740
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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immja's favorite FMLs

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

#14412798
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29338) - you deserved it (2910)

On 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by ilik3catz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my wife thinks I will agree to anything she says if she just pleasures me orally. I now found out, she is correct. FML

#14341625
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8465) - you deserved it (33503)

On 12/26/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets as excited as he does when he gets a chopper gunner on Black Ops. FML

#14284666
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32320) - you deserved it (7119)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Hannah - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML

#14199734
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25112) - you deserved it (6637)

On 12/14/2010 at 6:00am - intimacy - by virginat16 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML

#14199734
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25112) - you deserved it (6637)

On 12/14/2010 at 6:00am - intimacy - by virginat16 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML

#14180759
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32149) - you deserved it (3896)

On 12/12/2010 at 4:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

#14129951
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45868) - you deserved it (5373)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML

#14128362
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24032) - you deserved it (4821)

On 12/08/2010 at 3:46am - intimacy - by fishruinsex -

Today, I spent hours voluntarily decorating my town for Christmas. After a break, I came back to find someone had re-positioned the wooden reindeer to make it look like they were humping. FML

#14115471
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22263) - you deserved it (7718)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out a guy I work with has an eye twitch. I thought he was just a winker. I have been winking back all week. He either thinks I'm an asshole or am trying to seduce him. FML

#14105864
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9061) - you deserved it (13493)

On 12/06/2010 at 9:38am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that before I can legally drink, I will have been married, divorced, and pregnant. FML

#14095149
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12613) - you deserved it (72019)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:04pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

#14093813
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59073) - you deserved it (8363)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

#14091459
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36571) - you deserved it (3966)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up, and he came by to get his things while I was at work. When I got home I saw that the only thing he had taken was my cat. I only dated him for 5 months, I've had that cat for 14 years. FML

#14078710
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (3056)

On 12/04/2010 at 12:20am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52471) - you deserved it (9842)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)



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