immja

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immja

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4888
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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immja's page activity

Visits<b>QueefBucket</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:19am<b>boobear19883</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:18am<b>TheListening</b> - the 03/29/2011 at 1:49am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 5:29am<b>chimshar</b> - the 07/24/2010 at 11:47pm

immja's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

immja's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML

by prdept. / 03/09/2011 at 12:12pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend's best friend told me she was in hospital after having made a suicide attempt. In shock, I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital myself. Turns out it was all a lie to see whether or not I was committed to the relationship. FML

by FFFFF- / 03/02/2011 at 12:12pm / Singapore / Love

Today, my boss lectured me on the evils of alcohol and how it was 'prohibited' during the 1980s. I said nothing because he hates being corrected. FML

by Squinty6 / 03/02/2011 at 10:28am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I paid €100 to have a tube shoved down my genitals. FML

by regretter / 02/28/2011 at 8:07pm / Intimacy

Today, I found out the hard way that you can get carpal tunnel from masturbating. FML

by Nuttjacob / 02/27/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

by greenchan / 02/25/2011 at 12:12am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

by killmenow / 02/20/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

by PlayboyBunny / 02/19/2011 at 2:20am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

by terrible kenny / 01/30/2011 at 4:24am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

by me / 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me and pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? "Someone needs to shave." FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 12:26am / United States / Health

Today, a kid grabbed the receiver to my cochlear implant and ran off with it. I went to a security guard, and, if my lip reading was accurate, he said to "try and make it through the day without it". Without it, I can't hear anything. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2011 at 5:57pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

by ilik3catz / 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous