Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

immja

Search for a member

immja
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2744
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

immja's last visitors

TheListeningchimshar

immja's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

immja's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

#15308745
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41023) - you deserved it (12735)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML

#15250812
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31222) - you deserved it (16763)

On 03/09/2011 at 12:12pm - intimacy - by prdept. (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my girlfriend's best friend told me she was in hospital after having made a suicide attempt. In shock, I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital myself. Turns out it was all a lie to see whether or not I was committed to the relationship. FML

#15174885
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48492) - you deserved it (4562)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:12pm - love - by FFFFF- (man) - Singapore

Today, my boss lectured me on the evils of alcohol and how it was 'prohibited' during the 1980s. I said nothing because he hates being corrected. FML

#15174288
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20063) - you deserved it (2779)

On 03/02/2011 at 10:28am - work - by Squinty6 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I paid €100 to have a tube shoved down my genitals. FML

#15154562
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23800) - you deserved it (5769)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by regretter -

Today, I found out the hard way that you can get carpal tunnel from masturbating. FML

#15143494
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9572) - you deserved it (27931)

On 02/27/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nuttjacob (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

#15109555
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43548) - you deserved it (18474)

On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

#15056238
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32501) - you deserved it (7505)

On 02/20/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

#15036235
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26617) - you deserved it (7752)

On 02/19/2011 at 2:20am - love - by PlayboyBunny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

#14770555
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8730) - you deserved it (52103)

On 01/30/2011 at 4:24am - misc - by terrible kenny - United States (New York)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28327) - you deserved it (18981) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

#14567167
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31806) - you deserved it (6817)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States

Today, I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me and pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? "Someone needs to shave." FML

#14515582
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32586) - you deserved it (6575)

On 01/09/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a kid grabbed the receiver to my cochlear implant and ran off with it. I went to a security guard, and, if my lip reading was accurate, he said to "try and make it through the day without it". Without it, I can't hear anything. FML

#14487466
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32711) - you deserved it (1960)

On 01/06/2011 at 5:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46736) - you deserved it (8129)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: