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immja

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immja
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2748
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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immja's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
527 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17691) - you deserved it (48498)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36869) - you deserved it (21187)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

#17047649
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39179) - you deserved it (7196)

On 07/10/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8564) - you deserved it (58554) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30572) - you deserved it (2965)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

#16926272
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7702) - you deserved it (53442)

On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

#16926272
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7702) - you deserved it (53442)

On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML

#16746059
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50235) - you deserved it (6334)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:08pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML

#16746059
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50235) - you deserved it (6334)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:08pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
487 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12040) - you deserved it (198669)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

#16689352
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42913) - you deserved it (5851)

On 06/16/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by mike oxsmall - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

#16661318
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (2780)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML

#16651474
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43601) - you deserved it (10956)

On 06/13/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by robertsonjimmy - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

#16650975
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9260) - you deserved it (47846)

On 06/13/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25034) - you deserved it (4123)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)



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