immja

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immja

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5441
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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immja's page activity

Visits<b>QueefBucket</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:19am<b>boobear19883</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:18am<b>TheListening</b> - the 03/29/2011 at 1:49am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 5:29am<b>chimshar</b> - the 07/24/2010 at 11:47pm

immja's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

immja's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

by couldntholdit / 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2011 at 12:18am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

by Anonyme / 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm / Love

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

by budbunny13 / 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

by budbunny13 / 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML

by Username / 06/19/2011 at 2:08pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML

by Username / 06/19/2011 at 2:08pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

by crushed dreams / 06/16/2011 at 2:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

by mike oxsmall / 06/16/2011 at 1:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

by ugh / 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML

by robertsonjimmy / 06/13/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (Mississippi) / Animals

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2011 at 9:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

by grant b / 06/09/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

by Punk / 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm / United States / Intimacy