This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16526) - you deserved it (39252)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32419) - you deserved it (16292)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33704) - you deserved it (5615)
On 07/10/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8432) - you deserved it (57399) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26786) - you deserved it (2304)
On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7044) - you deserved it (42727)
On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7044) - you deserved it (42727)
On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46924) - you deserved it (5175)
On 06/19/2011 at 2:08pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46924) - you deserved it (5175)
On 06/19/2011 at 2:08pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9974) - you deserved it (151736)
On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States
Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38086) - you deserved it (4644)
On 06/16/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by mike oxsmall - United States
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31853) - you deserved it (2760)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38372) - you deserved it (8268)
On 06/13/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by robertsonjimmy - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7846) - you deserved it (36892)
On 06/13/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24490) - you deserved it (4076)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
