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immja

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immja
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2756
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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immja's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

#225509
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57246) - you deserved it (9578)

On 03/06/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by cumguzzler - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

#173589
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23626) - you deserved it (62698)

On 03/01/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Kammy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

#159589
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16397) - you deserved it (80988)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

#150078
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16231) - you deserved it (45906)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML

#139747
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73371) - you deserved it (17924)

On 02/25/2009 at 11:51pm - intimacy - by jsw029 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw my mom sneaking meat into her spaghetti sauce. She told me she sneaks meat into most of the food she cooks. I've been a vegetarian for 8 years. FML

#108416
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43179) - you deserved it (13893)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by j0hn (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

#69948
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49120) - you deserved it (20087)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65425) - you deserved it (3076)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8221) - you deserved it (49366)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

#2562
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12007) - you deserved it (3106)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

#2109
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8829) - you deserved it (29415)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by footinmouth - United States (Iowa)

Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML

#523
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5836) - you deserved it (20281)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother-in-law. FML

#351
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33455) - you deserved it (11133)

On 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Tinker-Bell - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother-in-law. FML

#351
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33455) - you deserved it (11133)

On 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Tinker-Bell - Sent from mobile version



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