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immja

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immja
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2754
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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immja's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my girlfriend of 2 years that I was sexually abused as a kid. She was only the third person I've told. She reacted by breaking up with me because I "might do something to her kids." FML

#12114881
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60196) - you deserved it (3803)

On 07/26/2010 at 12:34am - intimacy - by draegoncode - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone gave me 13 dollar bills. I rejected one because I'm very superstitious about the unlucky 13. Later, I waited half an hour in the car for someone to bring me exactly 1 dollar because I did not have enough for the parking fee. FML

#12088821
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5838) - you deserved it (54545)

On 07/24/2010 at 5:56pm - money - by onedollar (man) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16359) - you deserved it (66363)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML

#12070882
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8763) - you deserved it (39021)

On 07/23/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by Not So Smart (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22667) - you deserved it (46071)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22667) - you deserved it (46071)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11514) - you deserved it (41495)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was looking for a parking spot and finally found one. Trying to figure out if the spot was legal, I asked a cop that had pulled up. He said it was fine. I came back 3 hours later to a parking ticket. FML

#11945278
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31910) - you deserved it (2657)

On 07/17/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a 75 year old lady drove into me. Her excuse was, "I wasn't looking." Awesome. FML

#11412835
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32109) - you deserved it (2721)

On 06/23/2010 at 9:51pm - misc - by hurricane0331 - United States (Texas)

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

#9094642
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (4057)

On 03/15/2010 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

#9094642
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (4057)

On 03/15/2010 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that my boyfriend owns and wears women's lingerie. FML

#9037172
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23101) - you deserved it (2376)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:14am - love - by botharebad (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

#8248979
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21447) - you deserved it (5714)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by freakingow (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was in the check-out line when I noticed the guy behind me kept impatiently sighing. Thinking he was a jerk, I took as long as I could packaging my items. Turns out he left his oxygen tank in the car. FML

#7946565
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5266) - you deserved it (34508)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by Nominome - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101085) - you deserved it (11756)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)



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