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immja

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immja

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  • Number of visits : 3194
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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immja's page activity

Visits<b>boobear19883</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:18am<b>TheListening</b> - the 03/29/2011 at 1:49am<b>chimshar</b> - the 07/24/2010 at 11:47pm

immja's FML badges

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immja's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46872) - you deserved it (7252)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25623) - you deserved it (7790)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

#17839732
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38121) - you deserved it (3140)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29448) - you deserved it (8238)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had leg surgery. While I was recovering in the hospital, my boyfriend dumped me. I then had to ride home, a 2 hour drive, listening to my mother and aunt tell me he was the best thing to happen to me and I will never find a better man. Then the morphine wore off. FML

#17762590
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39708) - you deserved it (2290)

On 09/17/2011 at 3:44am - love - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

#17743862
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34317) - you deserved it (2357)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27963) - you deserved it (11468)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39207) - you deserved it (7089)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

#17686832
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39868) - you deserved it (27373)

On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29847) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML

#17643298
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28813) - you deserved it (18142)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34848) - you deserved it (4395)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

#17629318
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41264) - you deserved it (11581)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

#17619671
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39275) - you deserved it (5288)

On 08/30/2011 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

#17436824
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11682) - you deserved it (51138)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)



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