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immja

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immja

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  • Number of visits : 3478
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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immja's page activity

Visits<b>boobear19883</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:18am<b>TheListening</b> - the 03/29/2011 at 1:49am<b>chimshar</b> - the 07/24/2010 at 11:47pm

immja's FML badges

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immja's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

#19558140
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30531) - you deserved it (3402)

On 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by rolyat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30997) - you deserved it (2406)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30997) - you deserved it (2406)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out the hard way what it sounds like when you take the first letter of my first name, A, and put it with my last name, Hole. FML

#18533442
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23264) - you deserved it (3383)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48654) - you deserved it (7736)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33434) - you deserved it (5424)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

#18358747
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (9483)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm - misc - by Person15 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45064) - you deserved it (7023)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18404) - you deserved it (77463)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML

#18156228
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34443) - you deserved it (4037)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by tech_support (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51908) - you deserved it (16572)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51167) - you deserved it (8050)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42237) - you deserved it (8549)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

#17987492
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42526) - you deserved it (3505)

On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34526) - you deserved it (24627)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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