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imissmyself

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imissmyself
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  • Number of visits : 249
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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imissmyself's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44023) - you deserved it (14244)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

#12361153
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22510) - you deserved it (12760)

On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

#11864546
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12952) - you deserved it (26613)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by No.Life. - United States (Vermont)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a YouTube channel devoted to taking the camera out whenever he has to fart. FML

#10748439
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20533) - you deserved it (2940)

On 05/25/2010 at 12:55am - misc - by alyssac11 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

#8472938
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7856) - you deserved it (25849)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:58am - misc - by Rach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29533) - you deserved it (6108)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

#4637795
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50785) - you deserved it (4211)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9215) - you deserved it (87757)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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