Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 12/13/2014 at 3:45pm) | Search for a member
About imbatmanfir : -Bands: Black Veil Brides, Falling in
Reverse, Of Mice and Men, Breathe
Carolina, A Day to Remember, Escape
the Fate, Sleeping with Sirens
-Jacky Vincent is love, Andy Biersack is life
-I love tattoos and piercings, but mostly
-Disney and Horror movies are. the. best.
-Rap is like scissors, it always loses to
-It should be Halloween every day.
-If you say The Walking Dead sucks to my
face, you risk your life.
-I enjoy freaking people out >:D
-Rest in peace, Uncle Mike
9/08/69-6/25/13 suicide sucks.
-Animals >> people
-I know I have way too much stuff in this.
No, I'm batman.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I wore what I thought was a hideous sweater from the thrift store for an ugly sweater contest. I've gotten more compliments on it than anything else I've ever worn. I can't even succeed at failure. FML
Today, I was sitting on a fence watching a friend play soccer. He accidentally kicked the ball at my face and made me fall off the fence into mud. I laughed it off and got back on the fence. Two seconds later he did the same exact thing. I fell wrong and slammed my face into the fence. Pain. FML
Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML
Today, I rode my new motorcycle to work for the first time. As I accelerated, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Apparently, poisonous spiders can actually get trapped inside motorbike helmets. Duly noted. FML
Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
Friday 28 August 2015