[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

imahorsegirl

Search for a member

imahorsegirl
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 475
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

imahorsegirl's last visitors

imahorsegirl's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

imahorsegirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (12151) - you deserved it (68486)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

#1877566 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (47539) - you deserved it (9659)

On 05/12/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

#1862791 (217)

I agree, your life sucks (63512) - you deserved it (4114)

On 05/12/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by Karmas3itch - United States (Ohio)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (80426) - you deserved it (15491)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (16791) - you deserved it (167662)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

#1416648 (347)

I agree, your life sucks (12076) - you deserved it (151043)

On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML

#1354173 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (59077) - you deserved it (18943)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML

#1353969 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (59314) - you deserved it (37749)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Fykkhttdsetkkhvln - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML

#1351695 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (53473) - you deserved it (6547)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by Tal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

#1347593 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (8160) - you deserved it (57254)

On 04/26/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by waltzy777 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

#1346080 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (68893) - you deserved it (3768)

On 04/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by calliefml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML

#1213141 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (48778) - you deserved it (7760)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:09am - love - by misterhippo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (84876) - you deserved it (4266)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (303208) - you deserved it (14539)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML

#1068515 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (43962) - you deserved it (7161)

On 04/17/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by woopwoop (woman) - United States (Maryland)