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imadolphin

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imadolphin

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  • Number of visits : 62
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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imadolphin's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother-in-law moved in because she has a hip problem. I don't know what's worse, her constant complaining and slob like tendencies, or the eight cats she brought along with her. FML

#20154544
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20526) - you deserved it (1679)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by David (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML

#20066828
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6529) - you deserved it (26142)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by mrs14 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27783) - you deserved it (4247)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML

#19820336
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20033) - you deserved it (3386)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:27pm - misc - by punchedhelper (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML

#19804025
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18180) - you deserved it (1582)

On 06/17/2012 at 9:57pm - misc - by annonymous - United States

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49660) - you deserved it (3358)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML

#19787758
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29172) - you deserved it (7819)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by a chick in California - United States (California)

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

#19786105
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25521) - you deserved it (4406)

On 06/14/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by ouch - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40709) - you deserved it (3865)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML

#19774662
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27684) - you deserved it (2020)

On 06/12/2012 at 1:29am - health - by fmmmmlll (woman) - United States

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
463 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13880) - you deserved it (36220)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my drunk mother got into a fight with the lady at Krystal burger. Why? "Because the bitch said they aren't making special orders." FML

#8085656
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19705) - you deserved it (2178)

On 02/10/2010 at 10:10am - misc - by Krit - United States

Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML

#3687656
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45285) - you deserved it (21381)

On 07/12/2009 at 4:59am - misc - by whatrights - United States (California)

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (473241) - you deserved it (29135)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)



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