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imPROcrastinator's favorite FMLs
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- Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When… Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy… Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided…
- Today, I can't seem to get a job after going for more than 20 interviews over the last two months.… Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling… Today, my crush got together with a dude on my 18th birthday party after I tried my best to win her…
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, while on holiday in Morocco, I got arrested by a cop. “Sir, you were driving at 90 instead… Today, I found myself completely naked, tied to a chair with a slice of ham on each breast. Note to…