ilytyvm

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ilytyvm

6Fucked!

ilytyvmilytyvm
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 October 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3654
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 50 posted

About ilytyvm : When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and wonder how the fuck you got grape juice.

ilytyvm's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 8:00am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 1:57pm<b>Guylly</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 4:01pm<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:47pm<b>goodvsevil1275</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:41pm<b>ColorOfSoul</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 8:20pm<b>_just_joshin_ya</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 6:09pm<b>jjumprope</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 5:40pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 9:33pm<b>miaou4212</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 2:51am<b>angelmomof3</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 6:00pm<b>Slasher2977</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 4:35am<b>walkingspastic</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 7:51pm<b>deku</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:04pm<b>friendlygiant90</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 5:38pm<b>mill2775</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 4:57pm<b>int15</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 4:19pm<b>ohhlaalaa</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 3:42pm

Fucked!<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:42pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 3:05pm<b>jake_braves</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:39am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:42pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 5:19pm

ilytyvm's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of ilytyvm's badges

ilytyvm's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

by :x / 02/03/2016 at 10:40am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

by fuck right off / 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Health

Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2015 at 10:35am / France (Bretagne) / Work

Today, to avoid walking on a thumbtack that had fallen on the floor, my little sister took a red sharpie to the carpet and drew a circle around it, "so that way, everyone will see it." FML

by punaise ... / 12/04/2014 at 9:12pm / France (Franche-Comte) / Love

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

by super maman / 09/29/2014 at 11:08pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

by KasSmoke / 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

by makeyourselfathome / 09/17/2014 at 8:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML

by akieferr / 09/02/2014 at 10:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

by sam_666777 / 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

by boob sisters / 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, thanks to an efficient diet, I reached my target weight. Unfortunately, my chest has disappeared. My boyfriend suggested we have a funeral for my bras. FML

by BrefODM / 06/12/2014 at 11:15pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I learned that I'm the only person in my family that our new cat likes. She sleeps on my bed and always sits in my lap and despises everyone else. I'm allergic to cats. FML

by Good choice cat / 02/24/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (California) / Animals