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ilysweetcupcake

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ilysweetcupcake
  • Town/Country : chicago, usa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 September 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 2184
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ilysweetcupcake's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

#7458972
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9120) - you deserved it (26983)

On 01/20/2010 at 5:38pm - work - by PentiumBawls8 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46052) - you deserved it (7426)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my grandma told me to fuck off when I tried to help her with the dishes. FML

#7391871
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27234) - you deserved it (5670)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:31am - love - by volleyballgirl12 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I've checked with all of her friends and family. I am her first boyfriend. FML

#6616832
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30572) - you deserved it (2597)

On 12/05/2009 at 2:14pm - love - by HellaBomber91 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

#6612608
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15881) - you deserved it (2239)

On 12/05/2009 at 4:07am - intimacy - by lastalittlelonger (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was texting this cute guy that I like. After a couple of minutes I get a missed call from him, I call back and his girlfriend answers and says "Hi this is his girlfriend, please stop calling him". FML

#6612429
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9307) - you deserved it (19517)

On 12/05/2009 at 3:44am - love - by JennyAndrews (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53215) - you deserved it (3152)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I started the day at my local Starbucks. I was greeted with smiles from everyone I made eye contact with and left the store feeling really good about myself. I got home and checked myself out in the mirror, only to realize I had cut myself shaving and my neck was covered in dried blood. FML

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

#6098895
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32366) - you deserved it (2892)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

#4861565
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39594) - you deserved it (18832)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42879) - you deserved it (11512)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the grocery store. My checker was very hot. When it came time for me to pay, I swiped my debit card and the machine kept rejecting it. Sure that I had money in my account, I did it again, before the cute checker informed me that I was swiping my driver's license, not my debit. FML

#4114414
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9246) - you deserved it (44992)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:55pm - misc - by flustered - United States (California)

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79620) - you deserved it (5386)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

#2464637
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44173) - you deserved it (10744)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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