About iluvevil01 : Hi person I don't know! Why you are reading this beats me. I'm on the phone app so I don't get messages. I'm pretty crazy and have been recently given the title "queen of weird" BOW DOWN BEFORE YOUR LEADER!!!!!!!!!!! >:3
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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28287) - you deserved it (1266)
On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States
Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5723) - you deserved it (21402)
On 07/04/2012 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6228) - you deserved it (34360)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24667) - you deserved it (4183)
On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17855) - you deserved it (1425)
On 06/30/2012 at 2:26am - love - by anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18067) - you deserved it (2270)
On 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm - kids - by ihatewalmart (man) - United States
Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10605) - you deserved it (18372)
On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14830) - you deserved it (2377)
On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18704) - you deserved it (2219)
On 06/28/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by daniella101 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7329) - you deserved it (25624)
On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20830) - you deserved it (1429)
On 06/25/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by thinkimquitting (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34056) - you deserved it (2728)
On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8639) - you deserved it (23882)
On 06/18/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States
Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19420) - you deserved it (2802)
On 06/13/2012 at 10:50am - work - by lonelyharts86 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34181) - you deserved it (2878)
On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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