Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

iluvevil01

Search for a member

iluvevil01

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 February 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 4923
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About iluvevil01 : Hi person I don't know! Why you are reading this beats me. I'm on the phone app so I don't get messages. I'm pretty crazy and have been recently given the title "queen of weird" BOW DOWN BEFORE YOUR LEADER!!!!!!!!!!! >:3

iluvevil01's page activity

Visits<b>conman531</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:01pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 8:43pm<b>Toast7</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 12:55am<b>DyslexicPanda</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 11:17am<b>nuggetter</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 6:46pm<b>Potatobacon</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 1:47am<b>xcoolmichaelx</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 11:09pm<b>harry2hopes</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 8:02pm<b>Imagnation5x</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 11:13am<b>blabla2098</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 8:36am<b>MythicalPanda</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 9:48am<b>perdix</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 4:58am<b>samlynnw</b> - the 01/15/2012 at 1:55am

iluvevil01's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of iluvevil01's badges

iluvevil01's favorite FMLs

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47470) - you deserved it (5885)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML

#20750267
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42394) - you deserved it (3012)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:58pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

#20748724
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41639) - you deserved it (4567)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by theunluckylifeofme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML

#20748461
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41335) - you deserved it (3702)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML

#20748461
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41335) - you deserved it (3702)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

#20746398
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51650) - you deserved it (3897)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50193) - you deserved it (13820)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML

#20745284
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60230) - you deserved it (4133)

On 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by Creepedout - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

Today, I'm left with two non-refundable tickets to Jamaica, because my now ex-boyfriend said his Quidditch tournament is more important than seeing my "fat ass in a bikini". FML

#20745099
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47996) - you deserved it (5976)

On 06/24/2013 at 7:24pm - love - by afraid of flying too - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

#20744996
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (5724)

On 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by thanksdoc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47642) - you deserved it (13595)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79402) - you deserved it (7227)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: