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About iluvboobies : ...cuz I'm a big boy now!
I'm a rich man trapped in a poor man's body.
Life is short, live it well.
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Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19494) - you deserved it (2340)
On 09/25/2011 at 12:03am - kids - by Lolaa123 - United States
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (16139)
On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my parents' divorce was finalized, and my mother decided to publicly celebrate with a bikini wax. She calls it her "Declaration of Independence". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19248) - you deserved it (1702)
On 09/03/2011 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to my doctor for a check-up. It started with the doctor lifting my shirt up to check my heartbeat, and ended with my gran starting a fistfight over his "perverted ways." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20077) - you deserved it (1529)
On 08/27/2011 at 3:45am - health - by sad child - United States (New York)
Today, I wrote "I love you" on my girlfriend's Facebook wall. She completely freaked out and accused me of being "too clingy" and that I'm starting to feel more like a stalker than a boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23448) - you deserved it (4922)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9421) - you deserved it (1015)
On 08/26/2011 at 2:29pm - animals - by James - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14565) - you deserved it (2598)
On 08/18/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by upset room mate - United States (Texas)
Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23291) - you deserved it (5663)
On 08/18/2011 at 1:18am - health - by gb - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded, "Calm down, it's not like I've never seen 'spludge' before." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20995) - you deserved it (4053)
On 08/17/2011 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my roommate told me that unscented deodorant prevents ingrown hairs on the bikini line. She shared this beauty tip with me when I caught her using my Lady Speed Stick on her snatch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23608) - you deserved it (1696)
On 08/17/2011 at 5:14am - intimacy - by AllieOops (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24701) - you deserved it (3824)
On 08/17/2011 at 2:50am - intimacy - by Frank (man) - United States (California)
Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23762) - you deserved it (3100)
On 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Coldsnap - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19746) - you deserved it (1732)
On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27745) - you deserved it (1763)
On 08/12/2011 at 3:54am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11180) - you deserved it (1854)
On 08/12/2011 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Pissedoff777 - United States (Arizona)
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