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Offline (the 09/23/2015 at 11:52pm) | Search for a member
About iluvFMLs15 : Hello everyone :) I'm Jordan. I own my own business, Happy Paws Pet Sitting, LLC. I'm random, weird and not your average person. I love to read, write and get lost in music. Wanna know anything, just ask. kik- j0rdann.n1cholee snapchat - pussyy_luvrr95
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML
Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML
Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML
Friday 5 February 2016