Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member
About iluvFMLs15 : Hello everyone :) I'm Jordan. I'm just an average teenager without the need to want everything I see. And not an illiterate baboon. I write a lot of poetry. I'm very random and weird and not your typical person. I get told all the time that I'm weird, and to be honest I'm proud to be weird!!! I feel like I'm the odd ball and in a weird way that brings me comfort. Wanna know anything, just ask. kik- jordann.nicholee.95 ask.fm- ask.fm/i_love_pvssy
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML
Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML
Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML
Friday 30 January 2015