Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ilpapagrande

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 8:35pm) | Search for a member

ilpapagrande

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 April 1977 (37 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 662
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ilpapagrande : Not here to make friends, I just like reading opinionated remarks from people who assume they know stuff. If I visited your profile, it means you wrote something stupid/funny. Don't take it personally, cause I don't. I use mobile app so might never see your message and will definitely miss your ignorant self-righteous rant. Someday I might, don't give up! Now that we're done with the pleasantries what are you still doing here? Are you too stupid to be offended or are you amused as a result of being too stupid? And here you are, still reading right after I just insulted you! Shoo, go away, this is not an attempt to feed your sick masochistic self hatred. Go on now, bye!

ilpapagrande's page activity

Visits<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:19am<b>paramor3</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:48am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:27pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:52am<b>derpina72</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 5:38pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:20am<b>Fentown</b> - the 10/21/2010 at 8:23am

ilpapagrande's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of ilpapagrande's badges

ilpapagrande's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48215) - you deserved it (4831)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

#20801990
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46098) - you deserved it (3495)

On 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm - misc - by GeeThanks (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64073) - you deserved it (5547)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML

#20752113
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57309) - you deserved it (3880)

On 06/28/2013 at 8:23am - love - by confusedandnowsingle (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

#20750126
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53175) - you deserved it (3706)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Guntherdog - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76244) - you deserved it (17329)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60997) - you deserved it (13821)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML

#20706851
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55574) - you deserved it (3470)

On 06/05/2013 at 1:02am - love - by Justme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30818) - you deserved it (65614)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

#20691094
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25585) - you deserved it (129616)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

#20665284
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63382) - you deserved it (4134)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89858) - you deserved it (5640)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57472) - you deserved it (10883)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: