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ilovetwilight12

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ilovetwilight12
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 232
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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50 favourites

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ilovetwilight12's favorite FMLs

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37652) - you deserved it (2438)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56175) - you deserved it (5702)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

#20569989
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32813) - you deserved it (3461)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm - love - by tkrause - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML

#20568124
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39651) - you deserved it (3306)

On 03/31/2013 at 9:32am - kids - by The_Black_Jesus - United States

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38142) - you deserved it (4985)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my neighbours came to yell at me as they could hear my "shit music" through my window during the afternoon, so I turned it off. They then began to play their definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. FML

#20567871
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47068) - you deserved it (3353)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:24am - misc - by BornInTheWrongEra (woman) - United States

Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML

#20567796
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34608) - you deserved it (2597)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home to visit my family for spring break, only to realize that I'd left my phone in my apartment. After a 2 hour drive back, I discovered my boyfriend with my neighbor. He panicked and pretended to be sleepwalking. FML

#20567746
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47282) - you deserved it (3335)

On 03/31/2013 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Maybe I'll stay longer than spring break. - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned that my parents are planning to divorce. My dad said, "I'll take Rachel." Rachel isn't even his daughter; I am. Rachel is my mom's daughter with her first husband. FML

#20567711
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34027) - you deserved it (2212)

On 03/31/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I boarded my first airplane flight. The girl on my right is sick, and the guy on my left says he gets extremely nauseous on flights. My earphones can't block out the panting and retching on either side of me. FML

Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML

#20567223
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32810) - you deserved it (4902)

On 03/30/2013 at 6:22pm - love - by J. Homen - United States

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

#20565796
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35600) - you deserved it (8127)

On 03/29/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by sarajj (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61614) - you deserved it (15549)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got dumped during sex. FML

#20563466
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59425) - you deserved it (7966)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML

#20562925
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8661) - you deserved it (64079)

On 03/27/2013 at 9:02pm - misc - by Hahamaster333 -



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