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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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iloveparis

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iloveparis
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 333
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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iloveparis's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend "You're kidding, right?" FML

#6146707 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (29094) - you deserved it (6738)

On 11/04/2009 at 1:51am - love - by BlackCheetah101 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

#4805621 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (17359) - you deserved it (20518)

On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

#4713882 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (28199) - you deserved it (2851)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States

Today, I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. FML

#4271664 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (13112) - you deserved it (31206)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, as my son carried the cage with live food for his pet lizards up the stairs, I heard the sound of 2,500 baby crickets escaping. FML

#4239314 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (37738) - you deserved it (4334)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:29pm - animals - by cricketeer (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (50956) - you deserved it (5018)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I missed my flight. Why? My niece thought it would be funny to empty out my suitcase and hide inside. FML

#4226931 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (40287) - you deserved it (2288)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Inch'on-jikhalsi)

Today, after receiving a message about being hired at a retail store, I went to the orientation for new employees. The trainer seemed perplexed when I told him my name, but he gave me my paperwork and continued with training. At the end of the 8 hour day, he asked to talk to me. I wasn't actually hired. FML

#4172505 (40)

I agree, your life sucks (30829) - you deserved it (1696)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:30pm - work - by LMN (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML

#4156114 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (37745) - you deserved it (2712)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by epicc1584 - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

#4125421 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (33410) - you deserved it (4692)

On 07/29/2009 at 1:42am - love - by Ouch (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I returned from a month-long stay in a psych ward for severe depression and suicide attempts. The first words my friends say to me when I call them and let them know I'm out? "Does this mean you're not gonna be so emo? 'cause that was really annoying." FML

#3947588 (379)

I agree, your life sucks (35674) - you deserved it (19839)

On 07/22/2009 at 1:47am - misc - by emogurl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked me if I know anything about those tattoos that girl put on their lower backs. "You mean Tramp Stamps?" I responded. He looked at me with hatred in his eyes and said that his 18 year old daughter just got one. FML

#3875775 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (38072) - you deserved it (5547)

On 07/19/2009 at 3:25am - work - by Eh... (man) - Ukraine (Kyyivs'ka Oblast')

Today, I found out that my new boss at my job is the same guy that I turned down repeatedly last night at the bar. FML

#3820845 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (43158) - you deserved it (2835)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:02am - work - by awkward. (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML

#3799084 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (30437) - you deserved it (8918)

On 07/16/2009 at 11:02am - kids - by porkeater (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML

#3741978 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (45654) - you deserved it (3070)

On 07/14/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by dinapar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)