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ilovemonkeybutts

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ilovemonkeybutts

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ilovemonkeybuttsilovemonkeybutts
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 257
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About ilovemonkeybutts : hello

ilovemonkeybutts's page activity

Visits<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 2:05pm<b>stonerboyswag</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:31pm<b>muslimpride</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:39pm<b>minimanion</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:33am<b>Jojohn0</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 11:02pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:16pm<b>Ginger_Gawd</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 7:19pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 4:33pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:16am<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:56pm<b>djbruceybruce</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:14am<b>heyithinkyourhot</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 6:29pm<b>barneystinson45</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 1:23am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 12:16am<b>cinskeep43</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 12:04am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:42am<b>moneylessrc</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:21am<b>poulkrebs</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:40pm

Liked!<b>minimanion</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:14am

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ilovemonkeybutts's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42008) - you deserved it (11694)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

#21240451
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40410) - you deserved it (3843)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58225) - you deserved it (8266)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57186) - you deserved it (6782)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60528) - you deserved it (9142)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

#20418972
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39867) - you deserved it (5766)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

#19308008
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22716) - you deserved it (7121)

On 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm - kids - by Evelyn - United States

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31877) - you deserved it (15408)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML

#15974313
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14424) - you deserved it (35658)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Celluloid (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41161) - you deserved it (5426)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16935) - you deserved it (27492)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

#6532125
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26995) - you deserved it (2456)

On 11/30/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by NeedHeadPhone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30054) - you deserved it (74780)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)



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