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ilovemonkeybutts

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ilovemonkeybutts

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 132
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About ilovemonkeybutts : hello everyone!

ilovemonkeybutts's page activity

Visits<b>Tobiaspe</b> - yesterday at 6:17pm<b>burro012</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 6:19pm<b>IspSG</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:55am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:43pm<b>Shan2510</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:07am<b>BicBoi996</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:56pm<b>Raleigh_bruh</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:36pm<b>tagallopes</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:25pm<b>minimanion</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:24pm<b>Madridsta1999</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 3:29am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 4:56am<b>jamestaylor95</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 2:50am<b>andy594328</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 5:51pm<b>Jenra</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 2:10am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 8:32pm<b>Demig0d6</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 2:08am<b>its_bree</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 1:18am<b>maharb01</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:34am

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ilovemonkeybutts's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39874) - you deserved it (20506)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55216) - you deserved it (7772)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32135) - you deserved it (5216)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

#20418972
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39708) - you deserved it (5752)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55360) - you deserved it (9846)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

#19308008
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22140) - you deserved it (7041)

On 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm - kids - by Evelyn - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73507) - you deserved it (7669)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML

#14482213
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26368) - you deserved it (9237)

On 01/06/2011 at 2:35am - health - by Anonymous -

Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML

#14080015
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (6077)

On 12/04/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by chi-huaHUA - United States

Today, I learned that I wasn't really allergic to chocolate. My parents made it up when I was a child because they didn't want me to get fat. FML

#13970714
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36733) - you deserved it (3928)

On 11/25/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by wow (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40430) - you deserved it (5368)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered the piggy bank I made a Facebook account for has more friends than me. It has 12. FML

#13733621
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22522) - you deserved it (12660)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after years of thinking I was weird for never being attracted to anyone, I realized that for the first time in my life I actually have a crush on someone. That 'someone' is my English teacher. He is 60. I am 18. FML

#9127097
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27633) - you deserved it (11822)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:27am - misc - by allwrong (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16867) - you deserved it (27401)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

#6532125
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26689) - you deserved it (2441)

On 11/30/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by NeedHeadPhone (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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