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About ilovefmlife : I'm from Miami bitch
lol just kidding (about the bitch part) (:
There's not much to say except that I love to laugh so this site is a gift from god :D
Find me on Facebook- Jessica Perez
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at the mall blasting music, I was wearing a nice shirt and had my ipod in my breast pocket when I noticed a cute girl smiling at me so I smiled back and she started to walk over while turning down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21552) - you deserved it (49005)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61709) - you deserved it (32814)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7295) - you deserved it (69893)
On 05/06/2009 at 7:36am - love - by gymbob (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!" All the little kids playing on the local playground, including parents supervising them, gave me dirty, confused looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15584) - you deserved it (84147)
On 05/06/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was feeling up my girlfriends chest. I was getting into it until she said "What are you doing?" I said I was rubbing her nipple. She replies, "Thats not my nipple, its a pimple." I felt up a pimple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55270) - you deserved it (32505)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61473) - you deserved it (12094)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by BerryRockstar (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was hanging out with some disabled people at the day-centre where I work. We had the music blasting and were laughing and dancing around. My boss took me aside and said that it wasn't really appropriate for me to mock the clients by imitating their dancing. That's just how I dance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52067) - you deserved it (3748)
On 04/18/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand
Today, I was masturbating to a video a friend sent me. The girls were hot, walking out on a stage doing all sorts of sexy manuevers. The video was close to ending and the announcer in the video announced the winner. His name was Dan. It was a drag competition. My friend knew I'd whack off to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20124) - you deserved it (87835)
On 04/18/2009 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by Masterbater (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (115962) - you deserved it (4967)
On 04/17/2009 at 9:19pm - intimacy - by gringa_Peru (woman) - Peru (Lima)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (170868) - you deserved it (52080)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
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