Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ilovedinosawers

Search for a member

ilovedinosawers
  • Town/Country : Basement, My mom's house.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 852
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ilovedinosawers : I suppose I should write something interesting about myself. But you probably don't care about that. So, just to annoy you, I shall tell you about the life of me.
I like music. Not shit like "fuck bitches, get money!" No, I am an advanced chorus student. I like to preform.
But I hate dumb people, immature people, and rude people. So if you fall under these categories, don't talk to me.
That is all.

ilovedinosawers's last visitors

king_of_LAReva750alexmac222allia118forchanelennelleongmcleodBroadway_VaynesupernaturalcatBullwinlleblakesinthelakeRedPillSucks

ilovedinosawers's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of ilovedinosawers's badges

ilovedinosawers's favorite FMLs

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23689) - you deserved it (7492)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

#19207829
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25482) - you deserved it (3465)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore

Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML

#19195377
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24764) - you deserved it (3287)

On 03/01/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by ohdang - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

#19137014
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6506) - you deserved it (12288)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

#19130391
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24247) - you deserved it (7904)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21304) - you deserved it (2561)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML

#19113154
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36090) - you deserved it (7515)

On 02/19/2012 at 4:15am - intimacy - by meet Chloe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after recently moving to an apartment, we've already been asked if we wanted to buy drugs, had a children's chair thrown through the front window, our door painted with "CUNT LICKER" and my laundry stolen. FML

#19092499
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27395) - you deserved it (3147)

On 02/16/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Jeathrow - United States (California)

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, I was talking to a guy I really liked, hoping that he would ask me out. Eventually he asked for my number. I was so excited that I couldn't remember it. FML

#19091459
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18157) - you deserved it (5784)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24542) - you deserved it (1792)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I received a cute letter in my locker. It was in German, so I used Google translate. Apparently, someone hopes I choke on big fat cock. FML

#19078471
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24884) - you deserved it (2711)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by kittens go meow - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

#19062994
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22371) - you deserved it (4337)

On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

#19052034
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26787) - you deserved it (2644)

On 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm - love - by Anon - United States (Arizona)

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24601) - you deserved it (4850)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: