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ilove913

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ilove913's favorite FMLs

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38714) - you deserved it (5976)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28837) - you deserved it (6507)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

#4432884
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22080) - you deserved it (62390)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Morrowindwhore (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

#4157667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40400) - you deserved it (26214)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:21am - intimacy - by verysadasian (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, is the first day of my honeymoon. It has been 6 years since I took a "real" vacation. We have 3 kids and a small house, and now we have 9 days alone in random hotels to do what couples do on their honeymoon without kids... Day one, I got my period 7 days early. FML

#3091198
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76375) - you deserved it (4626)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by picaru (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting at a bus stop and a guy stops in front of me and says "Oh very nice. How much?" I reply "You couldn't afford me." An old guy sitting next to me says "I bet I could" and puts his hand on my leg. I forfeited the bus and walked home in the rain. FML

#2174572
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53341) - you deserved it (23704)

On 05/22/2009 at 6:52am - intimacy - by rice_cake (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was riding my bike with my parents. They make me wear a helmet when I'm with them. Some college age kids drove past and yelled, "Nice helmet!" My mother then told me, "They like you!" I'm sixteen and my helmet is blue. With flowers. FML

#1656975
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49603) - you deserved it (8257)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by dinosawerr (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML

#653658
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90271) - you deserved it (8918)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:16pm - intimacy - by VampiresSayRawr (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 13 year old sister had to explain the bases to me. Turns out, I have skipped first and second base and gone straight to third, without even realizing it. What makes it worse is that she told my mother, and now my whole family thinks I'm a slut. FML

#502307
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15715) - you deserved it (58363)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by musik_ist_liebe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied: "that's okay, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML

#214447
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50454) - you deserved it (129966)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML

#171559
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59681) - you deserved it (13022)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm - kids - by hi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I promised my best friend I wouldn't let her hook up with any guys (she got an STD a few weeks ago). After we tossed a few back she led about 30 people in a chant of "cockblock" after I wouldnt let her go home with some random dude. FML

#2489
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42918) - you deserved it (3312)

On 01/25/2009 at 12:54am - intimacy - by cockblockingbitch - United States (Washington)



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