About ilm350 : FML makes me laugh and creeps me out sometimes :D oh and I love music!!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I decided to take a nap while babysitting my neighbors kids for the day. I was woken up by this obnoxious sound, only to find the youngest kid holding scissors in one hand, a pony tail of hair in his shorts jumping around like a horse, oh, and a bald spot on the back of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15873) - you deserved it (47861)
On 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm - animals - by armybrat - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47493) - you deserved it (2048)
On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)
Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39411) - you deserved it (23773)
On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States
Today, for the first time in over a year, my mother actually called me. I excitedly picked up the phone. All I heard was rustling; her purse dialed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42930) - you deserved it (2004)
On 06/13/2009 at 3:10am - love - by slukaa (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16117) - you deserved it (49659)
On 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by schmoodles - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55460) - you deserved it (2484)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:18am - love - by sad (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (551525) - you deserved it (35430)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53639) - you deserved it (4253)
On 04/06/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (90089) - you deserved it (5240)
On 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by ILTali (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86616) - you deserved it (9387)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by justanaccount (woman) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (652374) - you deserved it (12102)
On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42377) - you deserved it (8648)
On 02/19/2009 at 1:14am - animals - by zac545 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178448) - you deserved it (61523)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36791) - you deserved it (10462)
On 02/12/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by thegoldenboy3 (man) - Spain (Andalucia)
Today, a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15844) - you deserved it (2134)
On 01/29/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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