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ilm350

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ilm350

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 February 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3522
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ilm350 : FML makes me laugh and creeps me out sometimes :D oh and I love music!!

ilm350's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 12:29am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:45pm

ilm350's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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ilm350's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that my daughter was looking for love in all the wrong places, specifically the county jail. FML

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41862) - you deserved it (8929)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40836) - you deserved it (4439)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56044) - you deserved it (9299)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55940) - you deserved it (11940)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60730) - you deserved it (13788)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65438) - you deserved it (18674)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

#20696601
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61596) - you deserved it (13446)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63143) - you deserved it (14382)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

#20690661
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55755) - you deserved it (32827)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

#20689895
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45903) - you deserved it (5510)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by mustache girl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML

#20688373
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47390) - you deserved it (10034)

On 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm - love - by JJLight (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

#20688020
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58720) - you deserved it (3976)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

#20683515
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56375) - you deserved it (17929)

On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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