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ilikeyouuu

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ilikeyouuu
  • Town/Country : San Juan, Usa
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 September 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 1613
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ilikeyouuu : Hi. I am me. And you are?

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ilikeyouuu's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34618) - you deserved it (3109)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I was eating in the food court at the mall by myself but then a cute guy from my school offers to sit by me, I say yes of course, he then asks me for a french fry. Later on I realize he has eaten half my meal. He only wanted to sit by me for my food. FML

#8122444
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22642) - you deserved it (5949)

On 02/11/2010 at 4:12am - love - by purpledp12 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML

#8122396
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12664) - you deserved it (1825)

On 02/11/2010 at 4:09am - intimacy - by stewiesclone - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

#8085634
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17083) - you deserved it (5708)

On 02/10/2010 at 10:08am - intimacy - by ryan - United States

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

#8083041
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22943) - you deserved it (7172)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML

#8082949
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17849) - you deserved it (1843)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16055) - you deserved it (69763)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at work, I was picking up paper in the bathroom. In one stall I saw what I thought was a wadded piece of the brown paper to dry your hands. It wasn't until I realized it was sticking to my bare hand that I realized it was feces. Human feces. FML

#6439619
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23350) - you deserved it (12761)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:00pm - misc - by Oddity_C - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

#4276253
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44332) - you deserved it (2184)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was supposed to hear back from a major scholarship competition. After months of waiting, during which my parents were convinced I had won, I discovered that my entry had never been received. Apparently the woman I had confirmed with had had a long day, and lied so that she could go home. FML

#4113749
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53398) - you deserved it (2144)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was doing the laundry, but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML

#2771794
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19114) - you deserved it (53677)

On 06/10/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by potpurri_needed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

#1807200
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71651) - you deserved it (11376)

On 05/10/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Jopes (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was getting ready to get in the shower. Completely naked, I pulled the curtain away and there was a huge spider on the wall in the shower. I screamed and my husband, disoriented from sleeping, came running in and knocked me over. I killed the spider with my forehead and broke my nose. FML

Today, I went to see a therapist for the first time because I've been feeling depressed lately. I opened up and said everything that was on my mind. I really spilled my guts. After a good 30 minutes, her first question was, "Do you always talk this much?" FML

#555231
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61426) - you deserved it (5794)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by Nathan (man) - United States (Illinois)



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