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ileenefudge's favorite FMLs
by Fgjvshnb / 07/05/2015 at 11:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML
by stillhungry / 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went to visit my mother after many years. Her hoarding has gotten so bad that now the house is entirely filled with junk and garbage, and she is camping out in the jungle of a backyard, cooking on a cauldron over a fire and shitting in the compost pile, with no working heat or water. FML
by childofcrazy / 06/25/2015 at 4:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by ApparentlyBadDriver / 06/25/2015 at 6:10am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was informed, after being broken up with, that my girlfriend's father only set her up with me so that she would have more motivation to shower on a regular basis. He actually yelled at me for being broken up with. FML
by Anonymouss / 06/24/2015 at 11:54pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 06/03/2015 at 1:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by -_- / 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/26/2015 at 3:09am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/22/2015 at 10:14am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by ironfey / 03/20/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML
by Elrond Hubbard / 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a very light blonde long hair on my marital bed's pillow. I confronted my husband about it and after hours of arguments and me throwing his stuff out of the house, I found another. Attached to my head. My husband isn't having an affair, I'm just going grey. FML
by mastel07 / 12/10/2014 at 7:59am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
by pooplife / 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…
- Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed… Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we… Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because…