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ihatemycoach

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ihatemycoach

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  • Number of visits : 198
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ihatemycoach's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:23pm

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ihatemycoach's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38756) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

#3420908
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43278) - you deserved it (14938)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by Kristache (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31976) - you deserved it (141544)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

#333311
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38593) - you deserved it (64582)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - kids - by superfkd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML

#301590
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48060) - you deserved it (11570)

On 03/13/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by Noname (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

#234028
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94903) - you deserved it (18611)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

#97434
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14346) - you deserved it (60316)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
505 comments

I agree, your life sucks (234666) - you deserved it (81893)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

#18143
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86635) - you deserved it (18127)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by douglisk1994 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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