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Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27776) - you totally deserved it (1874)
On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was uploading photos to my Facebook, when I suddenly realised that I accidentally uploaded a naked photo of myself. Panicking, I rushed to delete it, just as my computer crashed majorly. Few hours later, 400 "friends" have already "liked" the photo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7992) - you totally deserved it (33788)
On 10/28/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36675) - you totally deserved it (3424)
On 10/27/2009 at 9:27am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5300) - you totally deserved it (17559)
On 10/22/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by munckncruncj15 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, for my two month anniversary, my boyfriend surprised me with a "present". He then lifted his pant leg. He had carved my initials into his leg with a knife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32849) - you totally deserved it (2660)
On 10/21/2009 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I learned that the excessive groin sweating I've been trying to deal with for weeks isn't groin sweating. It's a slow and steady stream of urine that I have no control over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32773) - you totally deserved it (1778)
On 10/09/2009 at 5:25pm - health - by lizzzie (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22243) - you totally deserved it (2612)
On 10/09/2009 at 3:52pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28183) - you totally deserved it (1570)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24503) - you totally deserved it (1882)
On 10/08/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by Irony (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was in an exam and was chewing the end of my pen, stuck on a question. My mouth filled up with ink. I wasn't allowed to leave, so I had to sit for another hour with a foul-tasting blue tongue and a half-working pen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7845) - you totally deserved it (22072)
On 10/07/2009 at 3:48am - misc - by shoeaddiikt (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5566) - you totally deserved it (19409)
On 10/06/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by limecat (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 70 year old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28776) - you totally deserved it (1610)
On 10/05/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Eimii (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my fiance was performing oral on me. I was really getting into it, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. When asked, he confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9625) - you totally deserved it (2159)
On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today while cleaning up I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30477) - you totally deserved it (1897) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18091) - you totally deserved it (12095)
On 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by mushroommouth (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
