About igive : I am here for amusement at the posters' expense.
igive's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
igive's favorite FMLs
Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML
by DrakeB / 01/20/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, while sledding with my daughter, I tried getting her to go down a steeper slope than she's used to. She was worried she'd crash, so I went first to show her how it's done. I lost control halfway down the hill, bailed, and rolled into a tree. My wife has it on video. FML
by Fluffydemise / 01/19/2013 at 1:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by walkingdictionary / 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML
by Mizzaroo / 01/17/2013 at 1:38am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML
by George / 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
by nkotz / 01/14/2013 at 1:34pm / United States / Love
Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
by fucking mafia or what?? / 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Love
Today, I went to the hospital with stomach pains. I found out I have mono, as well as a ruptured ovarian cyst, which may need surgery. I called my best friend for support, only for her to drunkenly yell at me for not being at her party, and that this could have waited till a better time. FML
by thanksforthat / 01/10/2013 at 6:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I was in the elevator, when a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sight where I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML
by juvenile friends suck / 01/10/2013 at 3:52pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Intimacy
by Facepalmum / 01/10/2013 at 1:28am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML
by niki / 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm / United States (California) / Love
by AnonUser464 / 01/08/2013 at 11:40am / United States / Work
Today, I found out that I was pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I got his newly updated Facebook status that read "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML
by kiken.bara / 01/06/2013 at 3:17am / United States / Miscellaneous