About igive : I am here for amusement at the posters' expense.
igive's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
igive's favorite FMLs
by notsobig / 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
by dynah114 / 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
by go snope yourself / 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
by LagSwitchFTW / 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
by teacher / 01/25/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML
by SonofDonald / 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm / United States / Love
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
by black and yellow / 01/21/2013 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML
by DrakeB / 01/20/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, while sledding with my daughter, I tried getting her to go down a steeper slope than she's used to. She was worried she'd crash, so I went first to show her how it's done. I lost control halfway down the hill, bailed, and rolled into a tree. My wife has it on video. FML
by Fluffydemise / 01/19/2013 at 1:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by walkingdictionary / 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML
by Mizzaroo / 01/17/2013 at 1:38am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…