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ifailplzinsultme

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ifailplzinsultme
  • Town/Country : Cedar Rapids, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 October 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1045
  • Number of comments : 350
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ifailplzinsultme : Idk

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ifailplzinsultme's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27793) - you deserved it (5039)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

#16677911
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62700) - you deserved it (10961)

On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML

#16344639
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43516) - you deserved it (3290)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

#15874125
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21571) - you deserved it (48279)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to serenade me with The Sex is Good by Saving Abel. According to him, "I have to fake it, I'd leave if I could. I'm not in love, but the sex is good." FML

#14521815
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22069) - you deserved it (3372)

On 01/09/2011 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, with only a Santa hat on. FML

#12989872
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35527) - you deserved it (3190)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by meikd423 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

#786333
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11070) - you deserved it (183160)

On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

#641571
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49637) - you deserved it (6571)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by Spawn_of_Satan (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I found out that my parents can see a screen-by-screen of everything I say and do on my computer. FML

#35844
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45005) - you deserved it (6496)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:57am - misc - by Yazzy (woman) - United States (California)



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