This member hasn't filled in the description.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59470) - you deserved it (28232)
On 03/28/2009 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (480023) - you deserved it (24387)
On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another, and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walks in. After a long, awkward pause, she says "I like your socks" and walks out. She is a teacher at my highschool. I have to see her everyday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40128) - you deserved it (15316)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by mjayne17 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (173558) - you deserved it (18041)
On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (173558) - you deserved it (18041)
On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42560) - you deserved it (484817)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42560) - you deserved it (484817)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24776) - you deserved it (105921)
On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (320046) - you deserved it (66443)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (400121) - you deserved it (22584)
On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (208458) - you deserved it (35384)
On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (208458) - you deserved it (35384)
On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States
Today, I bragged to a coworker that our boss compliments me constantly on my work performance, my fashion sense, and my trustworthiness. She then directed me to a "neighborhood watch" website. My boss is a registered sex offender. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43616) - you deserved it (5861)
On 03/08/2009 at 12:47am - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (352546) - you deserved it (66551)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (352546) - you deserved it (66551)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
