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50 favourites
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Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47449) - you deserved it (4251) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47449) - you deserved it (4251) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28825) - you deserved it (4794)
On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States
Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35642) - you deserved it (1696)
On 12/02/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45086) - you deserved it (2146)
On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35990) - you deserved it (3751)
On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35990) - you deserved it (3751)
On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was called an 'inconsiderate scum bucket' by my neighbour because I allowed my loud alarm to go on too long before silencing it. The only reason that I sleep through my alarm is because I have to wear earplugs as they have their TV on maximum volume until 4am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22572) - you deserved it (1547)
On 11/28/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Exhausted - Iran Islamic Republic of
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19217) - you deserved it (2874)
On 11/26/2011 at 9:33pm - misc - by Matthew - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with a woman twice my age. I'm 32. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40982) - you deserved it (2643)
On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27906) - you deserved it (5314)
On 11/25/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by 14YearOld (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27906) - you deserved it (5314)
On 11/25/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by 14YearOld (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9589) - you deserved it (26559)
On 11/21/2011 at 1:23am - kids - by BadFather (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was eating cereal while absentmindedly reading the box. I was amused when I found it expires on my birthday. Then I realized it expired on my birthday two years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12069) - you deserved it (16867)
On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by jerdub93 - United States (California)
Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34370) - you deserved it (5454)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 20 May 2013
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