if2013

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if2013

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1519
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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if2013's page activity

Visits<b>cats4lyfe</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 5:54am<b>johnny692</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 10:48am<b>wotfukm8</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 10:10pm<b>Fidge86</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 4:11am<b>jscoggs21</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 10:29pm<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 9:54pm<b>gimmicookies</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 4:23pm<b>haleyjoenicole</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 3:34pm<b>Squizanaught</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 8:17am<b>crackmore278</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 3:07am<b>DyslexicPanda</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 2:36am<b>Tibby23</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 1:48am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 11:56pm<b>fatkidd83</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 12:16am

if2013's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of if2013's badges

if2013's favorite FMLs

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

by haveahappyperiod / 10/04/2013 at 5:39am / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a ticket for speeding in a school zone. The school hasn't even been built yet. FML

by joecool3426 / 10/03/2013 at 2:23am / United States / Money

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

by pong / 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Health

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

by Jill / 06/15/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

by Hurrikhan / 03/23/2013 at 7:43am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Animals

Today, I took my driver's test. I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout. He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!" when I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red. The road was almost empty. He failed me on the spot. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm / Australia / Transportation

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

by Female / 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML

by Wtf is wrong with her / 12/30/2012 at 12:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

by ihncredible / 12/10/2012 at 6:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

by Ophelia / 11/22/2012 at 12:44am / United States (New Mexico) / Work

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

by lea5459 / 11/20/2012 at 1:47am / United States (Oregon) / Kids