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if2013's favorite FMLs
by haveahappyperiod / 10/04/2013 at 5:39am / Miscellaneous
by joecool3426 / 10/03/2013 at 2:23am / United States / Money
by pong / 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
by Jill / 06/15/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals
by Hurrikhan / 03/23/2013 at 7:43am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Animals
Today, I took my driver's test. I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout. He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!" when I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red. The road was almost empty. He failed me on the spot. FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm / Australia / Transportation
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
by Female / 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by Wtf is wrong with her / 12/30/2012 at 12:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by ihncredible / 12/10/2012 at 6:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
by Ophelia / 11/22/2012 at 12:44am / United States (New Mexico) / Work
by lea5459 / 11/20/2012 at 1:47am / United States (Oregon) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…