iemislayer

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Offline (the 10/03/2014 at 8:03pm)

iemislayer

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1604
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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iemislayer's page activity

Visits<b>Katdurin</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 2:46am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 6:58pm<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:09pm<b>caitybebe</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 10:59pm<b>bufay</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 7:10pm<b>poolguy69</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 10:24pm<b>klondikeberry</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 2:35am<b>lexypaige</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 9:50pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 2:47am<b>KatieMajestic</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 3:28pm<b>laurajbm</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 1:45am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 12:13am<b>elliothayeslfc</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 5:58pm<b>iteenlovequotes</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 4:22am<b>neeni88</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 2:13am<b>BirdieBee</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 10:44pm<b>JazzyLOLness</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 8:43am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 1:53pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:58pm<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 10:09pm

iemislayer's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of iemislayer's badges

iemislayer's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

by devilboy / 07/06/2011 at 7:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

by devilboy / 07/06/2011 at 7:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

by fmlguy382 / 06/22/2011 at 4:13am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

by Ryan / 06/11/2011 at 10:24am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

by Username / 06/01/2011 at 8:35am / Canada / Work

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me give her a foot massage after she had a long day at work. Halfway through, she fell asleep. Wanting to see how ticklish she actually was, I started to tickle her feet. She then kicked me straight in the nuts whilst sleeping. FML

by anon80214 / 05/30/2011 at 3:15pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said "you know you can't wash and reuse these." FML

by killercow / 04/19/2011 at 12:19pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 11:06am / United States (South Carolina) / Kids

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

by Johntheladdo / 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I cycled 30 minutes through hail and rain to get my pregnant girlfriend the crisps she was craving. When I made it back, she didn't want them anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2011 at 12:41pm / Ireland / Love

Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I ordered an xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 8:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

by pizzafaceinc / 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, the doctor told me that I have Vasovagal Syncope: I pass out every time I get aroused. Bye bye sex. FML

by Sanchez / 01/07/2010 at 12:22pm / United States / Intimacy