iemislayer

Search for a member

Offline (the 10/03/2014 at 8:03pm)

iemislayer

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1736
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

iemislayer's page activity

Visits<b>Katdurin</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 2:46am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 6:58pm<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:09pm<b>caitybebe</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 10:59pm<b>bufay</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 7:10pm<b>poolguy69</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 10:24pm<b>klondikeberry</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 2:35am<b>lexypaige</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 9:50pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 2:47am<b>KatieMajestic</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 3:28pm<b>laurajbm</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 1:45am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 12:13am<b>elliothayeslfc</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 5:58pm<b>iteenlovequotes</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 4:22am<b>neeni88</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 2:13am<b>BirdieBee</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 10:44pm<b>JazzyLOLness</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 8:43am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 1:53pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:58pm<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 10:09pm

iemislayer's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of iemislayer's badges

iemislayer's favorite FMLs

Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 12:06pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML

by a little less poor at least / 04/21/2013 at 12:03pm / United States (Tennessee) / Money

Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

by Sir_ND_Pity / 03/11/2013 at 3:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

by lonely girl / 03/11/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 2:12am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

by anon / 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

by Boar / 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML

by nothowtheydoitinalabama / 02/21/2012 at 10:43pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

by areyouserial / 12/05/2011 at 8:21am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

by Username / 08/02/2011 at 1:35pm / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to meet the girl he has been cheating on me with. He thinks it makes the cheating more understandable if I see how 'hot' she is. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 4:21pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous