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Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50204) - you deserved it (3817)
On 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17511) - you deserved it (44904)
On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I removed the side rails from my truck because I didn't think I really needed them. An hour later, I went to Wal-Mart, forgot they were gone, and busted my ass in public while getting out of my truck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15810) - you deserved it (35327)
On 04/23/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28585) - you deserved it (94554)
Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37648) - you deserved it (4429)
On 04/21/2013 at 12:03pm - money - by a little less poor at least (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30499) - you deserved it (2039)
On 03/11/2013 at 3:57pm - misc - by Sir_ND_Pity - United States (California)
Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35606) - you deserved it (3338)
On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States
Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12590) - you deserved it (35240)
On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17997) - you deserved it (3708)
On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17300) - you deserved it (1074)
On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7290) - you deserved it (38903)
On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18490) - you deserved it (2607)
On 02/21/2012 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by nothowtheydoitinalabama - United States (Oregon)
Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17364) - you deserved it (1816)
On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20948) - you deserved it (4258)
On 08/02/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Username - United States
Today, my boyfriend wanted me to meet the girl he has been cheating on me with. He thinks it makes the cheating more understandable if I see how 'hot' she is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52684) - you deserved it (4294)
On 07/18/2011 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Monday 20 May 2013
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