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ieatunicorn4fun

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ieatunicorn4fun

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1098
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ieatunicorn4fun : U mad bro?

ieatunicorn4fun's page activity

Visits<b>MetalManiacHappy</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 6:35pm<b>Purplehays</b> - the 12/01/2011 at 1:01am

ieatunicorn4fun's FML badges

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ieatunicorn4fun's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

#16980520
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9600) - you deserved it (66325)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

#16880691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27941) - you deserved it (3496)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:08pm - kids - by Eringobrag88 - United States

Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML

#15853054
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30400) - you deserved it (9647)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, a guy who I have known for a long time confessed his love to me. It would have been sweet except that he will become my stepbrother in 3 days. FML

#15124689
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34170) - you deserved it (2799)

On 02/26/2011 at 9:03am - love - by welcometothefamily - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML

#15049456
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47086) - you deserved it (6748)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Justme (woman) - United States

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

#14672798
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17593) - you deserved it (49403)

On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML

#14291054
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26883) - you deserved it (2306)

On 12/21/2010 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML

#14117268
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28670) - you deserved it (2355)

On 12/07/2010 at 6:08am - work - by jessefonsexy. (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my students that I would be taking a few weeks off because a member of my family is very ill. They all cheered. FML

#14046266
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25018) - you deserved it (8895)

On 12/01/2010 at 9:14am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I discovered that my son has an allergy to cats. My partner of two years, not wanting to fight, suggested a compromise: that my son and the cat take turns sleeping outside. FML

#13521617
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28020) - you deserved it (5270)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35801) - you deserved it (20908)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML

#13408997
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8816) - you deserved it (43213)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

#13198134
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33770) - you deserved it (3898)

On 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm - misc - by huj - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML

#12816242
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34116) - you deserved it (6289)

On 08/30/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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