About ieatunicorn4fun : U mad bro?
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ieatunicorn4fun's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML
by anonymous / 07/05/2011 at 12:32am / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy
by Eringobrag88 / 06/27/2011 at 12:08pm / United States / Kids
Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by welcometothefamily / 02/26/2011 at 9:03am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Justme / 02/20/2011 at 7:23am / United States / Intimacy
by mortified / 01/22/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/21/2010 at 10:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML
by jessefonsexy. / 12/07/2010 at 6:08am / United States (Georgia) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/20/2010 at 3:11am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy
Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 6:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML
by huj / 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 08/30/2010 at 2:02am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex… Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he… Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started…