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ieatunicorn4fun

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ieatunicorn4fun
  • Town/Country : your girlfriend's pants, .
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 879
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ieatunicorn4fun : U mad bro?

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ieatunicorn4fun's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

#18070582
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23570) - you deserved it (29056)

On 10/25/2011 at 6:15am - intimacy - by sad - Reserved

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

#18069827
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27720) - you deserved it (2913)

On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

#18069219
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22301) - you deserved it (1301)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:30am - work - by fire1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

#18067303
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38530) - you deserved it (2959)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

#18034396
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27464) - you deserved it (8100)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm - health - by box bulge - China

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

#17949951
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26610) - you deserved it (2943)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:16am - love - by thatgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

#17892959
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30733) - you deserved it (3046)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

#17892835
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31113) - you deserved it (5142)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a blind date with a really cute guy. Just when I was about to invite him back to my place for a nightcap, he took out a catalog of Russian mail-order brides and asked for my help in picking out the best one. FML

#17892754
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22119) - you deserved it (2633)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:15am - love - by NotRussian (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44159) - you deserved it (5322)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML

#17400006
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24033) - you deserved it (5764)

On 08/07/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Wife - United States

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

#17307885
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31148) - you deserved it (3256)

On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

#17266001
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32577) - you deserved it (2655)

On 07/26/2011 at 9:35am - misc - by ceetee - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML

#17253981
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30937) - you deserved it (4008)

On 07/25/2011 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a text message from my ex from about a year ago, asking if my 4-day-old son was his. I don't know what's sadder - the fact that he thinks a gestation period can last 11 months, or that he's more willing to step up to the plate than the baby's actual father. FML

#17061004
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27039) - you deserved it (7978)

On 07/11/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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