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About ieatunicorn4fun : U mad bro?
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Today, mah dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashd potatoes, when the lid cummd off an pourd a ton of salt into the pot . My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it . I think mah taste buds r broken . FML
Today my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML
today I complatad tha arduous, naarly hour-long procass of answaring tha aHarmony dating quastionnaira, only to ba told mah answars wara too "uniqua" 4 tham to match ma with anyona. I had chosan "tha world" as mah distanca ranga. FML
Today, I ave ma first university lecture on lab safety. Having gone out te nigt before wit ma ouse-mates, I ave te worst angover of ma life, and ave to listen fir an our and a alfile tey loudly demonstrate te types of alarms we'll ear in different kinds of emergencies. FML
Today , I drove past a fragrant steakhouse an my mouth began to water an my stomach started rumbling,hich would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan an an animal lover . My confused body craves burning flesh . FML
I was bitchd out by mah 17 year old son's teacher!! It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate 4 his own political beliefs in a presentation, and mah son endd his speech saying, "And it remains mah opinion that our instructor is cramping mah motherfucking style." Instant suspension!! FML
I finally found outhere my great grandmother's antique handheld mrror disappeard to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML
Friday 27 March 2015