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ieatunicorn4fun's favorite FMLs
by exiledliscense / 11/09/2011 at 2:18pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML
by deviable / 11/09/2011 at 12:32pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 12:20pm / Romania (Mures) / Work
by blacktyaffair / 11/09/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 7:27am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by LukeyBoy / 11/09/2011 at 5:57am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous
by lunarstrain / 11/08/2011 at 1:11am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
by Dlord357 / 11/07/2011 at 9:24am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/03/2011 at 3:29am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm / United States / Kids
Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering the eHarmony dating questionnaire, only to be told my answers were too "unique" for them to match me with anyone. I had chosen "the world" as my distance range. FML
by DrakeScott / 11/02/2011 at 2:14pm / United States (Maine) / Love
Today, I have my first university lecture on lab safety. Having gone out the night before with my house-mates, I have the worst hangover of my life, and have to listen for an hour and a half while they loudly demonstrate the types of alarms we'll hear in different kinds of emergencies. FML
by ...loud noises...urgh... / 11/02/2011 at 12:39pm / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML
by loves the smell of burning flesh / 11/01/2011 at 9:22am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 11:52am / United States / Kids
Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 8:25am / United States / Kids