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idk437

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idk437
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1934
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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idk437's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329119) - you deserved it (35701)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

#350139
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66022) - you deserved it (22437)

On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "you jerk! Why are you mocking her? She has tourettes you know!" FML

#245096
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44791) - you deserved it (36593)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:00pm - work - by Ricky (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22124) - you deserved it (36027)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

#179032
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16202) - you deserved it (40876)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by legit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

#168503
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77314) - you deserved it (12975)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:45am - health - by Monty (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at their family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4-year old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say "You're fat! I like fat things." FML

#159579
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46373) - you deserved it (4696)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:52am - misc - by Judiee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML

#150971
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10774) - you deserved it (65785)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by Fenny (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML

#36168
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32398) - you deserved it (16752)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by fmlfmboyfriendah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16266) - you deserved it (26796)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML

#2620
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6053) - you deserved it (48904)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Timmy - Sent from mobile version



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