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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6075) - you deserved it (17046)
On 12/18/2010 at 6:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22736) - you deserved it (2517)
On 12/18/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by asdfghjkl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24035) - you deserved it (2769)
On 12/18/2010 at 4:11am - love - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19388) - you deserved it (1898)
On 12/18/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (5963)
On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. He then told me that he will love me forever, wait for me and will follow me to the ends of the earth. Apparently, that means standing outside my door and calling my house phone every five minutes. It's been 3 hours straight now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24224) - you deserved it (6436)
On 12/09/2010 at 1:00am - love - by Anonymous -
Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year old on a scooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5155) - you deserved it (21464)
On 12/07/2010 at 11:20pm - misc - by bullseyed (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while walking past a homeless man, I heard him comment on the woman in front of me saying, "I should come to this side of town more often, there's some hotties here." Then he saw me and said, "Wait, no, I think I'll stay on the other side of town." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18206) - you deserved it (2450)
On 12/07/2010 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25775) - you deserved it (4554)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:25pm - kids - by Cherie - United States (New York)
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21026) - you deserved it (1486)
On 12/06/2010 at 11:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a random guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20464) - you deserved it (6270)
On 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17104) - you deserved it (3279)
On 12/06/2010 at 5:50pm - animals - by Addicted2FML303 (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9708) - you deserved it (15560)
On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53259) - you deserved it (7728)
On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24073) - you deserved it (6179)
On 12/05/2010 at 1:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
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