Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

icertainlysuck

Search for a member

icertainlysuck
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5599
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

icertainlysuck's last visitors

DippinGrizzly907Wellsley_493ILoveHashtagsFreezeChicagoan2009tehgeorgeh

icertainlysuck's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

icertainlysuck's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the bar I go to every week. My favorite bartender told me I owed $50 for a tab because the waiter screwed up and undercharged me. The tab was from when my friends bought me drinks to cheer me up because my girlfriend moved away. I ended up paying for my own drinks plus theirs. FML

#2588654
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43433) - you deserved it (2703)

On 06/04/2009 at 12:52am - money - by doubledown (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a parking ticket. I put the ticket in my bag and accidentally left the bag in my friends car. When I returned, the car window was smashed, my bag was gone. I had to call the police department and ask them to send me a new ticket, on top of the $1000 or so I'd already lost. FML

#2587369
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39833) - you deserved it (5159)

On 06/04/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML

#2583409
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49233) - you deserved it (7430)

On 06/03/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by canadiankc (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML

#2569005
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55264) - you deserved it (3889)

On 06/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by doubleds (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

#2525381
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41808) - you deserved it (3555)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by sierraisfucked (woman) - United States

Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML

#2524012
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42487) - you deserved it (21172)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:18am - kids - by failbaby (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number I said 'Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number'. So many girls have given me that number, I memorized it. FML

#2523037
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48635) - you deserved it (5607)

On 06/02/2009 at 1:41am - love - by toobad (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31736) - you deserved it (49739)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got an invitation to my ex-boyfriend's wedding. We broke up because "he didn't believe in marriage." FML

#2501509
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67872) - you deserved it (3884)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105334) - you deserved it (4664)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML

#2496205
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56069) - you deserved it (6505)

On 06/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by TeeJay (man) - United States (New York)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: