Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

icertainlysuck

Search for a member

icertainlysuck

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5994
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

icertainlysuck's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:10am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 12:12am<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 4:59pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:16am<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 10:38am<b>Wellsley_493</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 7:33pm<b>ILoveHashtags</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 12:58am<b>2001SashaRocks</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:08pm<b>alock1031</b> - the 05/27/2010 at 3:05am<b>Freeze</b> - the 03/15/2010 at 10:55pm<b>Chicagoan2009</b> - the 02/04/2010 at 2:28am<b>aka_88</b> - the 11/16/2009 at 1:19pm<b>tehgeorgeh</b> - the 09/10/2009 at 1:03pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 09/06/2009 at 3:56am<b>sourskittlez</b> - the 09/02/2009 at 9:21am<b>hannuhhhdee</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 10:18pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 6:57pm<b>pentameter</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 5:05pm

icertainlysuck's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

icertainlysuck's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

#2740699
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118943) - you deserved it (7407)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108639) - you deserved it (4856)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I knew him but forgot his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it. So, thinking I was clever, I said "How do you spell your name again?". His name was Rob. FML

#2734791
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13621) - you deserved it (50909)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by purrtygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML

#2724554
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16377) - you deserved it (45741)

On 06/08/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend of 10 months moved to Europe and we may never see each other again, so I gave her a $200 sterling silver heart necklace as a goodbye present. She gave me a pack of gum. Cinnamon, which I'm allergic to. FML

#2720666
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57745) - you deserved it (6051)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:47pm - love - by dogs_and_toucans (man) - United States

Today, I had to find a date for this banquet we did in my town every year. I paid my neighbor 40 bucks an hour to be my date. It was a 4 hour event. Best part: she got drunk and told the whole town I was paying her. FML

#2720571
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16057) - you deserved it (54264)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:44pm - love - by twowords (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66434) - you deserved it (6346)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my friends house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldnt see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML

#2714754
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36733) - you deserved it (6418)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14329) - you deserved it (84162)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several time,s and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML

#2709098
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65458) - you deserved it (2831)

On 06/08/2009 at 12:08am - love - by .... (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML

#2701716
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63398) - you deserved it (3267)

On 06/07/2009 at 8:17pm - work - by Kilika (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128427) - you deserved it (7062)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

#2685483
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17922) - you deserved it (73663)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

#2682803
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12873) - you deserved it (72970)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Jon (man) - United States (Illinois)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: