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icertainlysuck

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icertainlysuck
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5601
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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icertainlysuck's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

#2740699
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107570) - you deserved it (6416)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall, when a homeless man came in mumbling to himself. Out of the 7 available urinals, he posted up at the one right beside me. Apparently he didn't get the memo that urinals aren't used to shit in. He talked to me the entire time. About his love life. FML

#2740544
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59118) - you deserved it (3485)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:13pm - misc - by blah (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100417) - you deserved it (4279)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I knew him but forgot his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it. So, thinking I was clever, I said "How do you spell your name again?". His name was Rob. FML

#2734791
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12401) - you deserved it (48835)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by purrtygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML

#2724554
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14519) - you deserved it (41993)

On 06/08/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend of 10 months moved to Europe and we may never see each other again, so I gave her a $200 sterling silver heart necklace as a goodbye present. She gave me a pack of gum. Cinnamon, which I'm allergic to. FML

#2720666
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54829) - you deserved it (5717)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:47pm - love - by dogs_and_toucans (man) - United States

Today, I had to find a date for this banquet we did in my town every year. I paid my neighbor 40 bucks an hour to be my date. It was a 4 hour event. Best part: she got drunk and told the whole town I was paying her. FML

#2720571
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15093) - you deserved it (52463)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:44pm - love - by twowords (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61384) - you deserved it (5804)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my friends house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldnt see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML

#2714754
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34970) - you deserved it (6097)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12705) - you deserved it (79720)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several time,s and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML

#2709098
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61672) - you deserved it (2569)

On 06/08/2009 at 12:08am - love - by .... (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML

#2701716
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56254) - you deserved it (2383)

On 06/07/2009 at 8:17pm - work - by Kilika (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112999) - you deserved it (4872)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

#2685483
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16719) - you deserved it (70763)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)



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