icertainlysuck

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icertainlysuck

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6672
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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icertainlysuck's page activity

Visits<b>Baller121</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 7:00pm<b>melons</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 7:44pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:43am<b>nickdailey</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 3:30pm<b>m_a_d_d_i_e</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 10:58am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:10am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 12:12am<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 4:59pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:16am<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 10:38am<b>Wellsley_493</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 7:33pm<b>ILoveHashtags</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 12:58am<b>2001SashaRocks</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:08pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:37am<b>alock1031</b> - the 05/27/2010 at 3:05am<b>Freeze</b> - the 03/15/2010 at 10:55pm<b>Chicagoan2009</b> - the 02/04/2010 at 2:28am<b>aka_88</b> - the 11/16/2009 at 1:19pm

icertainlysuck's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

icertainlysuck's favorite FMLs

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

by re2K5 / 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm / Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto) / Money

Today, my 9 year old niece asked me if I was a virgin. I told her, "Yes, I'm saving myself until marriage". She replied, "That's a load of bullshit, you just can't get a guy!" Sadly, she's right. FML

by Kimberly / 07/25/2009 at 5:55am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I just got a new assignment for the moving company I work for. Two weeks ago my fiancé dumped me and I moved out of the house. Almost all of the furniture was mine and it took forever. The new moving assignment I have is moving her new boyfriend into my old house. FML

by dantheman / 07/24/2009 at 10:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2009 at 6:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML

by Sally / 07/24/2009 at 5:04am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

by tony / 07/24/2009 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML

by vanguardwiley / 07/24/2009 at 2:40am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

by policeopenup / 07/11/2009 at 3:38pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

by policeopenup / 07/11/2009 at 3:38pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter was telling everyone at her elementry school about my gay partner. Yes, I have a gay partner. He is my work partner and he happens to be gay. FML

by charma / 07/11/2009 at 9:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

by Told_You_So / 07/09/2009 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

by lebanesewoman / 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm / Hong Kong / Kids

Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML

by Victim / 06/27/2009 at 9:47am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML

by EmployeeOfTheMonth / 06/27/2009 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

by notinflammable / 06/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy